c’mon it wasn’t THAT bad
     -gandhi 

my sister wrote a paragraph about naruto back when she was in second grade and the teacher called my mom up to the school because my little sister misspelled a word and i memorized the entire thing when she brought it home

(via blackmormon)

miamibeachmilf:

“paper or plastic?” asks the cashier. i eat her. i am a crocodile. why am i in a grocery store

(Source: milkshakeprincess, via kaileighmarie)

briancalzini:

Tyler: “I didn’t know what the fuck was going on, I thought it was a gunshot. I heard that shit and was like “fuck that”.
???: “You jumped high though.”
Tyler: “I’m black.”